dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Floor bacon is actually really good
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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