i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
