At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's never too late to be topless.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
