So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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