She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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