I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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