I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you didnt know i had herpes?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
