i just google imaged poop.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
