Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize