its not stalking. its research.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
