You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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