Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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