Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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