We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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