I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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