Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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