is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
