maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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