I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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