your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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