i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
