I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize