New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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