I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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