glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
