ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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