I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
