then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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