I wannas sexs uuuuu
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
