C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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