at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
How external is "for external use only"?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
