belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
