What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
