Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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