dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
