i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
