Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
