Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
