he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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