I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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