3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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