for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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