Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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