Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Can I color on your dick again?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
