if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
