I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
