Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
