I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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