I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
