He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
