i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
smell my finger.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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