this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
