I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize