They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
