Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
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