I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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