just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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