flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
