By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This is the high leading the old right now
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
That accounts for only three of the penises
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize