Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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