so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
