I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
