i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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