It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
