glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize