Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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