I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
