2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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