Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
