i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
