so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
