i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
