It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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